Eris interviews the Dragoons and Llyod
by Bwar
Summary: A veeeeeery old fic that I found magically...it has my old character Eris as the talk show host...it was funny when I wrote it, but I'm not so sure now...oh well...please r


"Congradulations!" An extreamly loud male voice cried out, "You are now the studio audience!" You, three other people, a man dressed like Larry the cucumber, and a peguin clap...go on and clap, I order you! "Today's guests are from one of the best damn RPG's ever made!" The loud voice boomed out from some mysterious place. "Legend of Dragoon!!" From backstage there are girly screams. "And now our host....ERIS GODDESS OF CHAOS!" The peguin claps, you can too if you want, as the curtain raises and a girl wearing a white toga walks out onto the stage filled with comfy chairs.  
  
"Hello and welcome to Chaos Talk! As my helpfull little...guest has just anouced my guests today are the seven Dragoons, Shana, and Lloyd!" The peguin and the three people cheer, and you too...cheer for them now! "Now I'm going to ask each guest out one by one then all together...you know, to get a *personal* view from each of them." She sits down in a red chair and crosses her legs. "Now let's bring out my favorite, and I hope yours too, Dragoon....King Albert!" Claps and cheers echo throughout the studio, mostly from the host as the hot, noble, young King steps out looking very confused! "Come come sit down!" He sits down looking at our fabulous audeance.  
  
"Uh...Meru said that we were going back to Bale..." He said as he continued to look around at the randomly placed chairs.  
  
"Well, you're not in Bale! And you'll never see it again if you don't answer EVERY question truthfully! So...are the rumors true?" The young king's face got beat red.  
  
"Uh...well...you know...I *did* crossdress, but it was just that one time...I swear!" The audiance is hushed, but after a few moments the peguin starts to clap, and if you love crossdressers, Albert, or David Bowie you clap too.  
  
"I had no idea you did *that*!" Eris said as she glomps the poor man, and now sitting on his lap continues the questions, "I was wondering if you and Lloyd...ya know...when he was your 'advisor'?" A very angry Albert pushes your host off of him, she lands with a thud. "ow..." She mutters as she stands up.  
  
"Look! I don't know who the hell told you about that, but he and I NEVER did that!" All the sudden the 'Platuim haired' wingly steps onto the stange looking even more pissed than the King.  
  
"That is a complete lie!" Lloyd got right up in Albert's face and pushed him back onto the green armchair he was sitting on, "You and I had hot monkey homo sex and you KNOW IT!" The king looked down at the ground as Eris could only look on in utter confusion. She turns to the audiance.  
  
"Well...I just made up that question...." She looks back at Lloyd who is yelling at Albert in wingly, "I mean...I was just thinking one day...Why would Albert need Lloyd for his intelligence, he has all those other smart people around him?" The audience all start to cheer, except 'Larry' as a slapping sound fills the room. Eris turns around just in time to see a very angry Dart bitch slaps Lloyd again.  
  
"You do not yell at my man!" Dart spat out at Lloyd who was laying on the ground,"I kicked your ass once without turning Dragoon and I can do it again!" In two seconds the crowd is in an uproar as Lloyd tackled Dart to the ground.  
  
"Holy shit!" Eris screamed out as Albert jumped on Lloyd trying to help Dart. "Crap! Crap!" Running to the fight scene she screams out at the mysterious voice. "Comercial! Comercial!"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~First Comercial (Panties For Men) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The camera zooms in on a man with long white hair.  
  
"Are you tired of the same old ugly underwear?"The camera zooms out all the way to show Maxamillion Pegasus in some white silk panites with little bows on each side. "Well, don't be..." A wind blows from nowhere as another man walks into the scene wearing pink panties with purple stripes on it.  
  
"New, from Victoria Secerts, a panty line for men," The normally stoic pilot of Heavyarms said as he turns around slowly showing off his thong. A red haired man steps next to Trowa wearing pink panties with roses on them.  
  
"Sexy, just like us," The fox demon says as he hugs the other two men in panties. All the sudden his hair turns blue and he gets fox ears and a tail. "Wha..." He looks around at the other two men,".....AAAAAAAAAAH!!!" He runs off screaming like a little girl with his arms up in the air, he runs into the camera and falls unconcious as the screen gets all blurry.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~End Comercial (Panties For Men) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"ooooh yeah....Trowa...you look so hot in that thong!" There is complete scilence as the anoucer is...uh...pleasuring himself to the thought of Trowa in a thong. Oh, like you aren't! I see you there, don't forget you're in MY audience! He notices after a few mintues that we are back on the air. "AH! uh....er...We're back! Go on Eris!"  
  
"Er...yeah...I think I'm going to have let him out more often..." Eris looks over into the audience to see "Larry" holding up a sign that says "Homosexual=sin" she grabs the nearest object ,wich happens to be a chair and chucks it at him knocking him out for a while. And everyone is happy...except Larry... "All right as you can see," She waves her hand towards the three men tied to different chairs, "I have stopped the very...trailerpark fight that was going on!" Clap for me, you know you wanna! There is complete scilence except for the peguin clapping. She coughs then turns toward the men. "Well....this has turned out to be an interesting show..." Then men glare at her unable to say anything since they are gagged, "Now, Albert, I'm going to take off this gag...and you're going to be a good boy right?" He nods his head and she removes the gag. "Allright, now, I didn't know we were having this strange little love triangle..."  
  
"That is a complete fabrication! I have never engaged in sexual contact with that man!"  
  
"Whoa, whoa! Honey...don't use the big words, it confuses the peguin! Look, all I know is that you," she points to Albert, "Have had something with those two...what I don't know...but...I'd looooove to hear about the night or nights you've been with them..." All three boys sit there looking not happy, Albert looks likes he's about to say something then channges his mind. Eris just sits there pouting..."Fine...next question. Albert, do you use that slide thingy in your room to A: Confuse the guards, B: To slide down when you're bored, C: to sneak into the kitchen when on diets, or D: for practicall use only." The King's face flushes, but he remains composure, "Well now that's strange...." She stands up and walks over towards Albert and Dart....she slaps Dart's left hand that seemed to get free. He looks up at her annoyed, " I saw you grab him!" Dart sticks out his tounge 


End file.
